Mom and T25

Okay, so the title is weird, I know, but it is the catalyst of my blog today. T25 kicked my ass today. That's the absolute truth and really just a way for me to dovetail into talking about my Mom. You see, I was an avid T25 Practitioner until December of 2014 when my Mom, who had health issues, took a turn. Now, I'm not blaming my Mom's health for my lack of motivation. It was just life and sometimes that's the only answer. Today was a big step on the journey of self study and a way for me to return to myself a little bit. 

Let me go back a little.  My Mom died on May 29th, 2015. Literally a week before I had to pack up my entire life, leave the business I love and move to Kentucky, 11 hours away from my friends and family. A part of me was grateful that she passed before I left because leaving her would have been the hardest thing I would have ever had to do in my life. But as they say, hind sight is 20/20. You see, leaving has made it very easy for me not to grieve, not to accept the fact that she is gone. I've known people who have lost parents.  I have cried with them/for them, felt compassion and sympathy but nothing, and I mean nothing, could prepare me for the gut wrenching, paralyzing grief that comes from losing a parent.

My Mom and I, we had our moments throughout the years.  The fights when I was a teen, the pushing of independence, blah blah blah...because really that's all it is is blah! The core of our relationship, through everything, was complete love. Her face, her smile, her smell all of it are love to me. The core of what this word means. As I take this journey to create a deeper understanding of who I am I know the foundation of me was built on her, who she was in this world and who she will continue to be as people remember her, tell her stories and share her within their own worlds.

I know today's blog is heavy, but it's honest. And that my dear friends is what self study is all about. Being honest with your heart. After my Mom passed a friend mentioned, that she heard, you must tell your story 1,000 times before you can start healing. That's what I'm going to do!

Namaste My Dear Friends.

Inspirational Thought/Tidbits for and about Life

If you have not read The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz I highly recommend the book, especially if you are serious about your journey of self study. There are so many aspects of who we are that are "learned behaviors" stemming from family and friends. It's important to see yourself in a very authentic way, not as the person you were formed into but as the person you knows and understands your own heart.

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