Mother's Day

Not surprisingly, as Mother's Day approaches, I've spent a lot of time thinking about my Mom. I've realized that the way I handle my unbelievable sadness is by lashing out at those who love me. Instead of crying or admitting I am sad I just have a short fuse. Definitely not my most attractive quality and not exactly healthy for my relationships but a good realization for our theme of self study! So instead of focusing on the loss of my Mom I'm going to focus on the beauty of being a Mom!

I was not one of those little girls who played Mommy to her dolls, or dreamed of being a Mom. In actuality I tried to convince my husband that we should be "Sinks", a play on the phrase "Dinks". Sinks = single income no kids (haha). I would joke with Steve that we could buy a boat and I would spend my days taking care of it while Steve worked! But, God had different plans for me and I became a Mom. It wasn't a role I fit into immediately but it was the best thing to ever happen to me and the biggest joy of my life.

James, my first, is this funny, sweet, intelligent little man. He had the chubbiest face, fingers and toes as a baby/toddler. I loved to see them all wrinkly and squishy in the bath or pool. He questioned everything and remembered every detail of what he was told. He memorized the exact words from stories read to him and would retell the story in long, sometimes exhausting, detail. Now at 12 he's long and lean with an amazingly handsome face (don't tell him I wrote this he would never forgive me). He is very much like me so we can butt heads a lot but we have this amazing connection that I pray doesn't go away as he enters his teen years. He can be shy at times so I think people can miss how amazing he is. Knowing him is truly a gift.

Julia, my second, is this brave, strong, fierce bundle of energy. She had a lot of health issues as a child so my fear of losing her altered the way I parented her the first few years of her life. Since the time she was a tiny baby she amazed me with her strength and determination. Even when she is afraid or nervous she just takes a breath and pushes forward. With Julia what you see is what you get. She's real, authentic and genuine. I admire that about her. She never feels like she has to wear a mask. When you look into her eyes you see her beautiful light. She struggled this year with my Mom passing and the move. As a Mom it was so hard to see that light dull but I've loved watching it come back.

Honestly, there are no words that do justice to how I see my kids and how much I love being their Mom. I know the Moms out there can relate. At night I say to my kids, "Mommy must have done something that God really liked because out of all the Mommy's in the world He gave you to me and that makes me the luckiest Mommy there is." This little tradition, this phrase, sums up my feeling about Motherhood. In the awful words of Jerry McGuire, they complete me. I was meant to be their Mom. I love every minute of it...the hugs, laughs, fights, tears...every minute is a precious gift to me.

I miss my Mom, more than I realized I could miss someone. But this Mother's Day will be about love... passing on the love I was given by my Mom to my kids...celebrating how lucky I was to have a Mom like her...making sure my kids know how much I love them and how much their Mom Mom loved them too. Happy Mother's Day to all the Moms out there!

Namaste My Dear Friends!

Inspirational Thought/Tidbits for and about Life

A little tidbit for the weekend, call someone you love just because you can! Whether this person is a Mom or not telling someone how much they mean to you is important. Mother's Day is about love. Pay it forward.

There are so many amazing things going on at Pink Lotus all the time! Check out this awesome studio! I will be co-teaching a workshop June 4th with the amazing Danna! Make sure you sign up. Take a class, get to know the amazing instructors and enjoy your journey of self discovery, pinklotusnj.com